The "It Wasn't Me" Phenomenon

I wanted to stand up on the coffee table cluster and yell at the disrespectful crowd. I wanted to say "Hey, my aunt and uncle were visiting Pondicherry that morning..yeah that's right, the beaches..and that wave took them...parents of two young sons, only in their thirties..my younger cousin just turned 8, which means there is one more 8 year old orphan in this world...doesn't this affect you all? Are you just that cold and insensitive? My aunt and uncle DIED. People DIED. Thousands of innocent good people died...and all you can do is drink and talk into a stupor while selfless artists use their own time and energy to bring you the songs of their hearts?!"

Only I couldn't do it because I couldn't bring myself to lie. Yes, my aunt and uncle were visiting Pondicherry the morning that the tsunami devastated Asia. However, they got a late start with the kids and all, so they didn't get to the beach till about an hour later than planned. When they arrived there, there was some water in the streets, and objects and cars barricading, with police saying that there was a big flooding problem and that the beach is not open. My relatives had no idea of what they were almost victims of until they turned on a TV later that morning.

But really, would it take such an emotional showcase atop of coffee tables to command some respect at a fundraising event? I tried to suppress my frustration at first, as I appreciated the rising donation tally, the many folks who helped to organize and perform at the show, as well as the members of the audience who were acting as a proper audience should. When I tried to figure out why the rest of the venue was so ridiculously noisy and rude, I realized, it's because each one of those people is thinking "it wasn't me." IWM.

It's this IWM attitude that kept the attendees from converging into a single audience. It's the IWM attitude that keeps a room chock full of brown people completely unattuned to the tragedy that has hit many fellow brown people halfway across the world. And it's the IWM attitude that stereotypes us young Americans as ignorant, insensitive, and unhelpful to global issues.

Local demand: Please, please quiet down so that we can hear the poets speak. You, yeah you guys back near the bar, shut up already!

IWM response: I'm not talking loudly so I will continue my chatter without moving to the back of the room accordingly. I am doing nothing wrong.

Community demand: About 35 Americans are confirmed dead. Approximately 2500 American missing persons phone calls have been reported. Over 9,000 people in India have perished.

IWM response: Do I know any of the Americans? No. Do I know any of the missing vacationers, ambassadors, Peace Corp workers? Probably not. Do I know any of the Indians in India who have been hit? Only if my relatives are from a coastal village or city, which isn't the case. So I'm OK. I dont have a personal death to mourn.

Globabl demand: The aftermath of the Tsunami threatens to raise the death toll due to waterborne disease, unattended injuries, millions of homeless people, insufficient food and fresh water supplies.....

IWM response: I'm halfway across the world. What can I do? I donated what I could, there is nothing left for me to participate in.

There is an Arabic Proverb which states,

"If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart."

I think the antithesis of the IWM mindset would be a variation on this:

"Regardless of how you give of your wealth, remember to continue giving of your heart."

Giving of the heart means showing respect, listening, paying attention, and most of all, attempting to put oneself in others' shoes. "It Wasn't Me" can only stand as a subconscious security blanket so long as one fears the unknown, or the unfathomable, and acts as if such events are taking place in another time, in another world. As soon as you attempt to step in that shoe, by feeling a rush of water into your lungs, or hear terrified childrem scream before their last gulps, or witness an elderly woman clutching the bodies of her son and daughter-in-law on a heap of her house leftovers...as soon as you really do this, I don't think it's a far jump to say that you would stop thinking it wasn't you, and realize that it is a part of your human nature to know the immense nature of that pain and loss.

And then maybe, after giving of your wealth, you would sincerely give of your heart.